The Second Agreement


“Don’t take anything personally. “If you keep this agreement, you can travel the around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, “I love you,” without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can say yes, or you can say no- whatever you choose – without guilt or self- judgment.”- Don Miguel Ruiz

In a narcissistic era of self-inflicting messaging, this second agreement might seem unorthodox and undetectable. It’s a two-fold, it illustrates the idea that what we believe ourselves to be and what titles and labels that we bestow onto others, shouldn’t be taken seriously. How we and others define us is an effervescent illusion. It moves and flows from emotions and circumstances.

Because labels and categories of who we are have been the basis of our identities since the development of structured society, taking things personal doesn’t “seem” to resonate naturally. I am whoever I proclaim myself to be; Woman, Artist, Teacher, Student, and I fall into the congruencies of what these titles describe. I live in them, I breathe them, and associate myself to them, and I ‘ll be damned if anybody told me otherwise.

What’s problematic about these labels is that if and when we or others step outside of what they define, our sense of self and who we believe they are wavers too.

How you feel about someone else is nobodies’ truth but yours. Most of us define others on the basis of our own experiences. For example, albeit unintentionally, I may cause harm or pain onto your belief and value system. Because of this, I am now categorized in your mind to be a certain way and you may now view me differently than before.

I might even intentionally force pain unto you, and because I am bestowing my views onto you, you see yourself as falling short. Although these feelings are not yours to live by and hold on to. 

These ideas move to and from each other, causing a conflict in the mind of what to believe, and posing the question, who to believe?

This agreement is tough to translate. On a day to day basis thousands of messages are being processed through our mental filters. Messages on what to believe, distorts the representation of who we truly are: consciousness in the human form, all looking for one thing, love.

Just imagine what discoveries we could unveil about ourselves and each other if we didn’t allow our made-up differences to dilute our ability to love on each other?

Live well.